You Can Do Hard Things

Matthew and I just came out of three days in the backcountry, camping with the horses, the kids, and Zac. We rode for almost 30 miles and camped in two separate locations.

I am universally renewed, inspired, and dedicated to so many things in my life and it feels incredible. Of course, I knew that would happen when I went…it’s why I went. Life has been outrageously, monumentally, out-of-this-universe, stressful lately and I knew, if I didn’t start getting to the woods I would start to let anxiety overcome me.

You see, for me, the woods is representative of all that is good and peaceful in my life. As a military brat who moved every couple years, I didn’t have roots in the traditional sense. The only reason I had any roots at all was because my parents, as high school sweethearts, both wanted to retire in their hometown so, as a young couple, they invested in a little bit of forest on a lake to eventually become the site for their retirement home. My mother made sure that we spent every single Summer there, living in the woods in tents, eating every meal over a campfire and showering in water that was hung when the sun came up in hopes that it would be warm by bedtime. My dad, as an Air Force Fighter Pilot, was gone A LOT when we were at our homestations, I was pretty much raised by my mom…except in the Summer. In the Summer my dad was right there with us having saved all his annual vacation to take in a giant chunk in the woods.

In a sense, I grew up in the woods, which is why heading to them now feels like going home. It’s therapeutic.

That’s not to say that the way we’re heading to the woods isn’t super, duper stressful.

Matthew and I have gotten into our biggest fights in the woods and the forest is where I’ve I’ve been put in situations that have made me more scared than I’ve ever been in my life.

I’ve also had some of the most meaningful conversations of my life in a grassy meadow and I’ve seen things so beautiful I’ve been moved to tears.

Being in the woods is hard. Being in the woods with children is a little bit harder. Being in the woods, with children AND a small herd of horses when you didn’t grow up owning horses let alone packing in the woods with them…

Yeah, it’s stressful. .

But you know what? It’s a different kind of stress.

If you never push yourself, if you never give something your all, if you never try hard things…

Aren’t you missing out?

Matthew and I have been BLESSED to be born with two strong, able bodies. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t feel lucky that we can move them with such intention and that we’re capable of doing really physical things. I don’t know if that will always be the case, and so, while this body of mine can tote me around, I’m going to ask it to go really cool places.

And if I’m going somewhere, you better believe I’m taking a horse with me.

Thankfully (oh my gosh thankfully) I have a husband who shares my dreams.

Because both of us are very goal oriented we’ve thrown ourselves into learning anything and everything about packing horses in the woods. At night, after the kids go to bed, we crack open a beer and learn knots. Matthew took an old barrel and turned it into a fake “horse” so that we can easily practice using these knots to hang the wooden panniers he’s been making from scratch Because we have very little furniture we brought it inside and now we don’t even have to leave our home in the evening to have fun. We laugh, we talk story, we tell really bad jokes…we connect as husband and wife…not as parents or business owners. It’s a very special time and I love that my world includes it.

I also love that my world includes horses. And not just any horses…really good horses. Horses that came to us with issues and spooks but have now been put in so many outrageous situations that they’ve become steady mountain ponies. As I like to put it, our horses have an extremely high tolerance for shenanigans.

Because y’all. I am the Queen of Shenanigans. Or, as Matthew likes to say it. Queen of Shenannies. I have, some might say, a very different learning style than Matthew so, while he learns from reading a book, or watching a tutorial, my preferred learning style is to just do it. I will be the first to admit that sometimes this makes life harder. But dang it feels good when you figure something out after trying hard to master it.

For the past couple years we have been taking our kids out on the horses. We’ve had our share of mishaps and really dumb moments (don’t tie your horse to a dead tree, and also, it’s not a good idea to ever let a horse with packs on graze unattended, they will roll) but we’ve carried on. Neither one of us grew up packing horses and so this, like starting a goat dairy, is all new to us. We do the best we can until we know better, and then we do better.

And this weekend, we did better. We picked our way across mud slides and rocky beds of volcanic ash, crossed creeks (and skinny dipped) in waters that were still icy cold from the snow melt, ran through one of only two old growth Noble Fir stands in the world, slept under the stars of a crystal clear mountain sky, and connected with our children free from the stress of running a business and free from distractions.

Because of all the work we’ve been putting into our horses for the past few years in the backcountry, I found myself having less stressful moments and more moments where I could sit back and enjoy watching my life. Although I spend a lot of time with Matthew during the day I don’t often find myself pausing to watch him work—I’m working right alongside him. But let me tell you, watching this man do his thing, adjusting saddle bags, riding with our kids, ponying horses, all from the back of my own horse…sheweeeee. it makes a girl feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

And you know what else makes you feel pretty great? Earning it.

It feels good to ask our bodies to do hard things and then actually do it. It feels good to be strong and capable, that’s why young children thrive in the woods…their bodies want to move and they want to move in really cool, interesting ways. The woods provide spaces where they can stretch their muscles (physical, creative, and intellectual) and it provides a very reward based system. There is no better treasure then getting to roast your own marshmallow on a stick you spent half an hour hunting for.

Last night, as we were getting horses settled in and setting up our camp, Matthew said to me, do you know what being in the woods with the horses is like?

“No,” I asked. “What is it?”

“It’s like the first couple years of our dairy.”

You know the years…many of you were here for them. We were IN THE WEEDS. We made MISTAKE after MISTAKE after MISTAKE on top of MISTAKES. On top of that we had two very small children and two full time jobs. THAT was a stressful time.

But, we did the best we could until we knew better. And then we did better.

Over time we got smarter and were able to make decisions based off of our own real experiences and not off of something we read in a book or saw online. Every day the dairy chuggs along it becomes a more effective business because we become more knowledgeable. That correlation is undeniable. It’s also undeniable that the more knowledgeable you become on something the easier it is to train someone to do it…which in our case means we can train others to milk the goats and make the cheese—without people doing those things we would be tethered to this farm, our job, year round.

Taking horses into the backcountry isn’t a business (not yet, at least) but the model is the same. The more you do it the better you get at it. The better you get at it the less stressful it becomes. The less stressful it becomes the more joy you find in it.

And I don’t know about you…but I’m always on the lookout for more joy. Even if earning it is hard…

Because you know what.

You can do hard things.

And you can do them well.